What is assertiveness?

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It can be defined from various angles that would include a behavior that can be learned and improved, but it is also a way of communicating feelings without letting ourselves be carried away by emotions, as well as defending our rights and expressing our opinions with firmness, freedom and respect. towards ourselves and others. All of this is based on the foundations of an appropriate self-esteem and self-confidence that must be learned through the experiences experienced individually and without making the mistake of falling into aggressiveness or passivity.

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Consequently, being assertive does not mean that you will make people like or accept you, let them misunderstand you, never get angry with you, or give you everything you want. Since there will always be others who will continue to give us a resounding "no" as an answer, especially when we ask them for something that goes against their interests and principles.

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However, it is enough to remember at all times that when we do not defend our rights or do not express our emotions, we would be inviting others to treat us in the worst possible way.

 

Why is it that we have not learned to be assertive since childhood?

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Undoubtedly, the phrase that “we are a product of the parenting style” that our parents used with us is repeated here. In this regard, many people have learned to respond in a non-assertive way, capturing and imitating the behavior of one or both parents, school teachers, friends or any important role of reference. In other words, to cite examples, if you always had around only people who proved to be extremely condescending, helpful and accommodating or, on the contrary, only aggressive, hostile and intolerant people, it is difficult for you to have learned to react in another way that is more balanced and assertive in life situations or people.